Enzyte
by Xaic
Summary: Demyx is left alone, and has thoughts. Acting on a whim, he tries to order what the commercial called 'Enzyte'. Suggests AkuDemy, definately. BL Boys Love. Also, written on a whim. Can seem a bit crackish. Set in an 'AUish' setting. Enjoy


A/N: Alrighty, I just wanted to let you readers know, that this fic will take place in an A… ish U. Yeah. This will be my first Yaoi one-shot. Yes, as in, it WILL hint the relationship between two men. Don't like? DEAL. You shouldn't be reading this if you don't even like the couple.

Disclaimer: (see far word on far left, or bottom of page)

One by one, the screen of the T.V. in Demyx's and Axel's living room flickered with the life of different channels.

"MONDAY! MONDAY! MONDAY! MONSTER MOOGLE RAL-"

Click

"Tired of Heartless roaming your lawn?"

Click

"Yuffie's last prank got you on edge? Introducing, NIN OFF!"

Click

Demyx sighed and looked away from the T.V. and pulled his bottom lip into a pout. "Dammit! Axel is out and I'm left here all alone! There's nothing on the T.V., and to top it all off, I'm sexually frustrated!" He yelled angrily to himself.

"Have you been left at home?" a voice from the Television asked.

"Yes." Demyx answered with a bored undertone.

"Feeling alone?" It asked another question.

Demyx nodded. "Wait-"he gasped and stared at the screen in front of him.

"Nothing on T.V.?" it asked, it's voice raising.

"Yeah!" Demyx's eyes widened and smiled at the electronic device.

"Are you feeling SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED?!" The person screamed.

"Oh GOD yes!" Demyx yelled and fell to his knees, practically begging it for advice on what he should do.

"WELL," the voice started, then laughed. Suddenly, the voice stopped laughing and said in a fake sympathetic voice, "that just sucks, doesn't it?" The person disappeared and Demyx turned the T.V. off.

"Ugh! That didn't help at all! I need answers!... Or at LEAST more friends!" Demyx cried out, holding his head as it hung low.

"HEY! Meet our friend Bob!"

"Hi Bob." Demyx called out in a weak voice. 'Wait… Didn't I just turn that thing off?'

He shot his head up and he looked at the screen quizzically and proceeded in watching the advertisement displayed on it. After it ended, he looked at the number on the piece of paper-which he had grabbed during the commercial-in front of him. He had scrambled to write down the number that had been flashing on the screen, and he had the stupid elevator-type music stuck in his head.

He started thinking about his lover, Axel. He didn't just LOOK manly; he WAS manly (winkwinknudgenudge). Demyx then felt ashamed of himself and looked downwards. Why did he have to be so…. Small?

'That's why I wrote THIS down!' He told himself, picking up the paper.

He ran into their kitchen and checked the clock. He still had a good 5 minutes before Axel was due back. It wouldn't take that long. Demyx shakily picked up the phone on the counter next to him. It was now or never.

Finally convincing himself to do it, Demyx dialed the number. A man picked up and said, "Hello, my name is Danny Boy! How may I help you?"

Demyx gulped and stuttered into the mouthpiece.

"Erm… yeah… I c-c-ca-called to um… o-order a p-packa-age of E-e-" oh god he was so embarrassed.

"Say no more my man. Let me just check something." The man on the other side of the line requested. Demyx gave a quick "Okay" and waited for him to return.

When he returned, Demyx had calmed himself down a lot more.

"I'm sorry sir, but our records show that the number you've called from has already been used. We are not allowed to give you any more Enzyte." The person said dutifully.

"Eh? But this is the first time I've called." Demyx responded. "How can this be? This is seriously the first time I've ever called. I just saw the commercial for it 5 minutes ago! I swear this is my first time that I've ever called you people! Much less anyone else who advertises on T.V." He started complaining. The only other person who could have called was… "Axel?" Demyx whispered.

"Pardon?" The guy on the other end questioned. Had that boy just called him an asshole?

"Oh! Um, Sorry about that mix up! Could you check and tell me what name it was signed up for?" He asked, a laugh daring to bubble up from his throat.

"Why… certainly Sir!" The guy assured him. Demyx was put on hold for a second time and perked up when the man returned faster than before.

"So? Who was it?" Demyx asked him, eager to find out the truth.

"A man by the name of…. Erm…. I can't pronounce his family name… but I believe his given name is pronounced… Axel?" The man attempted at the name and succeeded.

The blonde couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Thanks Mister!" He called to the man as he hung up the phone.

SLAM

"Oi, Demy! I'm back!"

Demyx stopped laughing and grinned so mischievously, the Cheshire Cat would be ashamed.

"Hey, Ax-man! Could I use some of that stuff?" He yelled out of the kitchen.

Axel walked in and went straight to the fridge for a can of Paopu fruit juice. He got it out, then turned around to look at Demyx.

"What 'Stuff' are you talking about?" He asked, confusion apparent on his face

Demyx's grin subsided, and he just had a small I-have-this-face-on-because-I-know-something-you-didn't-want-found-out-about-and-now-I'm-just-gunna-play-it-cool-in-a-way-that-you-know-that-I-know-about-it frown, with his eyebrows raised high. "Oh, you know… that _stuff _that you have. The stuff you ordered…. " He trailed off as he brought the piece of paper in front of him and looked at what seemed to be an interesting part of the ceiling. He looked innocent in the I-did-something-and-we-both-know-it kind of way. He knew Axel remembered the number.

The redhead's eyes widened in shock when they rested upon the paper and he sprayed out the juice he had in his mouth.

"Erm… I… can explain?" He chuckled in a weak voice.

A/N: Well, that's it. I've always wanted to know what would happen really if something like this occurred. What do the people actually say if that happens? Hmm… I'm a girl, so I wont be finding that out soon. So… there you have it! OH! Also, what was creepy during my writing of this, was that whenever I lost interest on writing this, the freakin Enzyte commercial came on. EVERYTIME. I took it as a sign from whatever god there may be up there.

I don't own Axel, Demyx, Yuffie, the "Nin Off" thing(got it from a cracky-but-funny comic) Moogles, Heartless, Smilin' Bob, or Enzyte. This is a purely fictional story that was created when I had Jacques-deprivation, and was thinking about Yaoi and the age-old question of what would happen if someone called and tried to get 2 per household.

Review only if you want to. I try not to be pushy…. I'm pretty sure my BFF would say;

BFF(aka: Jaques-chan[actual author on here):"PSH. WHATEVER. The word PUSHY isn't even in your vocabulary!"

But seriously though, I can be stubborn when I want to. :


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